from an odd but endearing counter:stool-
dear reader,
why not put it to use?
i wrote this for an old friend
i wrote this for you
'inept'
cc: transfiguration
cc: the continuation of a cycle/a turning
as i get older,
i'm really realizing how poorly
i
we all
were, and are
set up to live
how we were raised
trained
(let alone the back-up that gets clogged in the drain
between then and now)
simple shit right
like nutrition
or a step before that
which is not feeling a survival
gnashing
when it comes to food
because there always was food
a semblance of an attempt to teach basic skills
i'm (really trying) not (to be) mad about it anymore
it's just the hand
and the work that must be done
is simply the work
but even to step back to recognize
these as learned things
love as something learned
in addition to the location of it's origin within
what love is
the infinite ways it can look
how to treat it
honing this direct communication from training dogs
from seeing the behaviors and anxiety that
seeps in from miscommunication
they've taught me so much man
like how to just act as a constant
and be
and allow them
and thereby myself
i'm so proud of the work i've done in this house
and am witnessing it take a new shape
from a true role of Observer
but sometimes it feels so overwhelming
all of these teachings
all this curriculum
i remember you said something about the importance of the skills learned in 3rd grade
like "don't hit and practice the golden rule"
and thats that ability to break something down into basics
that was one of those times i was really like-
this dude is cool
and familiar.
in a
this untapped cosmic celebration
of moving and communicating
from center
fuckin portal places, right?
very recently have i found a real love of self
i notice myself embracing myself
self soothing i guess
i know now that's the turning
the reunification of the three points of my triangle
i've been using my body differently
smoother
with a similar kind of gentleness to my mind and self
i spend a lot of time just kind of dancing around
listening to music and crying
like fiona's
'up until now in a rush to prove/
but now/
i only move to move'
in the last three years
i've swam in the peach meat of art
and healed in the direct communication of dogs
and the comfort of a good man
but now
it kind of feels like
when you're carrying too much grocery
and struggling to find counter space
but relishing in your own strength
i've tripped four times in the last year
and i feel exposed
in a 'it's up to you whether you struggle as you starve' way
it's difficult to communicate succinctly
but it's like i have these grocery bags
that i've been carrying
and feeling their weight grow
as these stones keep getting skipped in your direction
and i don't know where
on the counter these bags of
knowledge and new findings
will end up
but i feel really confident back in the magic of the unknown
and hope you have confident somewhere on your radar too
imagine your sandwich order gets messed up-----
a n--e-w unexpecte:d co--:mbination of condiments
and boom- a new favorite sandwich
allsimsayin
is if in our friend car throughout life,
we're unexpectedly
turning around
in a diner's parking lot,
would you like to stop for a sandwich
while we're here?
if we acknowledge we don't trust each other,
can we move forward together?
reaprattleandsow
thinking of you always dear reader
cmon.let'sdancechicago
as a gremlin in a basement,
with the invincibility of undeterable determination,
with a full hug,
