1/12/2025
the next day off
start paying attention to the difference between whats written on the phone vs here
the familiarity of sitting in front of a laptop
typing (seems to be more conversations-why conversations? emulating that table)
and how you write on the phone while walking(mantras and connecting full thoughts- my side of it/foraging through movement/what i would return home with)
dear reader,
why don't you make something. when was the last time you made anything? or hang up your art.
i take pictures every day. i've been writing daily as well.
made something tactile, i mean.
you feel it don't you?
yeah
even just the release of spreading your fingers over a keyboard, and using them.
yeah
decide to move forward.
can you just-
gimme a second
i begin with a first step. just now, i saw the combination of the hoop, the warp string, and the first fabric. so now, it must be made.
toolboxearth began the same. as a name. just a name and i knew i couldn't leave it there. it's the name that i could never leave behind, but only forward with.
alongside you.
and when i began this blog, and toolboxearth in general, i had no idea what it would be or even was. why it was all of a sudden necessary to wrangle an artistic practice. and produce. and share.
i still don't, but it's moving forward. toolboxearth moves and i observe it and frame it. it's the relationship moving forward i am deciding to frame(dirty dancing).
because what it has become is a bullet proof skin
if anything happens to me now,
toolboxearth is what will be found
(or it may never be found. there's something very delicious about that as well. because it being made is the most important part, not the reception)
i trust toolboxearth
(as whatever my it is)
alongside you
so i can be an aggressive pedestrian
advocating for more foot traffic awareness
while making the warmest eye contact
I can muster
within the city i love
so i can enjoy walking mindlessly
within the city i love
so i can find motivation
because there's something
worthy
to be made
within the city i love
so i can share
others
within the city i love
so i can find you
from a broken mind
with the only
language i speak flu(id)ently in
within the city i love
the language of making
the language of decisions
the language of art
fearlessly
because of bullet proof skin
we can not put the fire out
from inside the house
we must sow it
to reap
thicker skin
{whatever your it is}
we must
remember
what a human life
is for
we must
use our hands
the wind between the worlds
the space in the in-betweens
creating pockets so we don't spazz out
so we can follow a thought
up until now i have been motivated by others'
motivated at that exact spot where
consideration and selfishness intersect
up until now i didn't know
really
how to move on my own
focused, and without distraction
(booze, men, family etc.)
toolboxearth is the motivating self
motivation to make a self
why choose an ending,
instead of
a beginning?
so i dont know still
what toolboxearth
will be
or
what this blog space
and the contents within
will be
(when i stopped writing you in long form)
but i do know
this
is what a practice is
and it takes precious time
practice preciously
preciously practice
or something
with knowing,
as a curl you fix,
