dear reader,
ive been thinkin about capability
and the unending capacity of capability
when paired with determination
ive been thinkin about gratitude*
having just moved into a new space,
where i can watch lake michigan’s waves crest from bed
ive been thinkin about sitting on the floor
this need to be as close to It
as i can get
ive been thinking about lake ontario**
ive been thinking about
whether i prefer
to be the country bombed or bombing***
ive been thinkin about winning
ive been thinking about the upper hand
and the unending capacity,
when paired with determination,
that It can hold
ive been thinkin about the award shown
the scene:
It’s your first wedding anniversary
and you are vending at an art show
the show is in the center of the
small town you live in
hosting promise
of the community you have desperately
been yearning for
It’s a small town in a region where
fiber art is a big deal
It’s the day of judging and awards
one of the judges is the ex-mayor of the town who officiated your wedding
and you share the coincidence with them
as they pass through to judge
you win first place in fiber
(rarely a winner,
often a supportive observer***)
later,
two other judges pass back through
to share that the only reason you won
was because the ex-mayor always
got their pick
that they felt there were other artists
more deserving
roger’s park is the chicago neighborhood
where vivian maier spent her final years
as a grumpy bag lady
roger’s park is where i live now too
(where the cyclone has thrown me)
ive been thinking about
the souls swept and collected
under the rug
ive been thinking about winning
dontknow
(as above)
dontwannaknow
(so below)
dontknow
(as within)
dontwannaknow
(so without)
dontknow
(as the universe)
dontwannaknow
(so the soul)
dontknow
cantknow
cantwannaknow
dontwannaknow
as the rug,
as the consideration underneath observation,
as a grungy gramma,
*little women by louisa may allcott
**the weaving shown: elysian fields, 2023
the sunrise over lake ontario-
how the light seems to come from both
below and above the water
toolboxEarth 